My doctor's appointment on Friday went well. Valerie is getting bigger (thank goodness!) and is weighing in around 3 lbs, 5 oz. She still has a strong heartbeat! She is also in a breech position. Her butt is down and her head is up around my belly button. There is a chance she could still flip around, but the doc says at this point she is probably in this position to stay. The bigger she gets, the less she moves around (except for her kicking & head butting me :)). So we are praying she flips, because if not we may not have the easy & peaceful delivery we are hoping for. If I deliver her breech, there is even less of a chance that she will be born alive. She will be put under even more stress going butt-first. As of right now, we are sticking with our plan--regular delivery, no monitors on. Hopefully a c-section will not be required, although a tiny part of me wants one, so that there is a greater chance of us meeting Valerie alive!
We have decided to be induced so our family will be able to schedule off work to be there with us. We have a tentative date of May 25th--so 1 month from today. If I am not ready (cervix has to be soft), I will just push back my date until I am ready. Can't believe that 1 month from today, I could be working on delivering Valerie. Words cannot even begin to describe how I am feeling, so I won't even try. I am trying to be be strong on the outside, but am completely crumbling on the inside. I spent all of church yesterday in the bathroom crying because I just lost it. I can write about it, but just can't talk about it. That is why this blog is so helpful to me. If someone even mentions it, tears just fill my eyes. This is the hardest experience I've ever had.
Lilly had a wonderful Easter weekend! She got to color eggs, hunt for eggs, and even got 2 Easter baskets! She also got to see her cousins (Nicole, Olivia, & Logan) who kept her entertained and played outside with her for hours! Love them!! Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend!
4 comments:
I'm praying for you guys every day!
I can't even imagine how you are feeling. Just know that so many are praying for you and little Valerie. God has a plan in every detail, it's just hard to trust it. Praying!
I know the feeling. I can write about Nevaeh and all the things we're going through much better than I can say them. I can't choke the words out. But if I need to pause and blow my nose while I type, nobody's the wiser! There are many times I need to cry, but alone. I don't want a pity party. I just want to vent and let out all the emotions I've held back. So I'm right there (sorta) with ya. I understand and it's great to know that someone else "gets it." And FYI: May 25th is a semi-big day for us as well (if little Val decides to come that day). Nevaeh enters the hospital to start a chemo called campath that will eliminate her bone marrow. It's one of the last stages we do before the docs take over in June and complete the bone marrow transplant. We'll be thinking of you! And as always, prayers are bombarding heaven! *hugs*
you have been on my heart alot lately! i am praying for you. praying you feel His love. praying you know oh how He loves you even in the midst of pain. i know words can't make it feel better, but i am praying God pours out His blessings over you!!
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