Saturday, November 29, 2014

Just a Little Update

I've been doing pretty well lately.  It does seem that every day I will wake up with a new pain somewhere, but it doesn't last too long (a couple days).  But overall, I am feeling better.  It is hard for me, because every time I have a new pain, I worry A LOT.  I am pretty sure most of my new pain is just from over use or using a muscle i haven't used in months.  I have my next round of scans on December 8, so please PRAY for me.  Pray that they don't find anything new and my cancer is shrinking. Please pray for my healing, seriously, I'm so nervous.  I don't want them to find anything new.  The lump in my breast is shrinking, which should mean the other cancer is shrinking as well, but you never know.  I am still trying to be positive and have inner peace.  Kyle and I went to see Kara Tippets speak last Monday and she was amazing.  She wrote the book The Hardest Peace.  If you haven't read it, I recommend it. She talks a lot about having inner peace throughout her struggle with her Stage 4 cancer and her relationship with Jesus.  This is still new to me (3 months now!), so I am still trying to have that inner peace and strength that Kara does.  I am still in the process of questioning everything.  Is this really happening?  What if the medicine doesn't work? How long will I live?  I have an endless amount of questions.  While I am excited to see Jesus and my baby Valerie and my Meme, I want to see my Lilly & Landon grow up, I need to.  I've decided to make this Christmas the best ever.  I want the kids to have a wonderful Christmas with great memories.  I want every day now to be special with my kiddos.  I've decided to take each day and make it the best day I could have.  I am really enjoying the small things that I took for granted before.  I've discovered I love laying in my bed watching TV and eating Sour Patch Kids after the kids go to bed. LOL. Last night we went out to dinner and to see Christmas lights and it was just the best evening.  I was so happy. 

I can eat now!!! Really, really eat everything! I was having the hardest time eating.  I had to force myself to eat anything and of course I lost 2 more lbs when I went to the doc a couple weeks ago.  Down to 111.  That is like my high school days.  My doc put me on a new medicine and it is amazing.  I love to eat again!! I'm sure i've put on a few lbs by now.  I've been eating a LOT!  Please continue to pray for my healing.  Thank you all again for the cards, donations, and well wishes.