Cancer. I seriously can't believe I have cancer. I am 31 years old, with my only major health problem being asthma. I don't have time to have cancer! I have 2 small children to raise, a husband and a home to take care of. This sucks! I promise this whole post won't be about how much this sucks, but the first part does. I need to vent.
I sleep on the recliner part of my couch because it the most like a hospital bed. It is the easiest way for me to get up and down. I wear a back brace almost 24 hrs a day and it itches! I walk to and from the bathroom with a walker. I can't get dressed or shower or do anything by myself. A small part because it hurts too much, the largest part because we are afraid my hip will BREAK if i put too much pressure on it or if i should fall. I have NO appetite. I could go on and on and continue to feel sorry for myself, but i will only allow myself to do that a small part of the day. I have to accept this hiccup in my life and move forward, but it does suck.
I have had 3 radiation treatments. These are not so bad, but I do have to lay flat on my back for about 20 minutes, which is just awful for me right now. I have about 3 weeks left of every day radiation treatments. They are supposed to shrink the cancer and rebuild the bone i have lost. My cancer will never die or completely leave my body. Too much damage has been done. What happens now is that it shrinks with radiation and with hormone therapy. I will take meds for the rest of my life. When my cancer becomes immune to the treatment, I will start another treatment. I will hopefully be able to live a pretty normal life eventually.
We have been blessed with so many loving people praying for us, making us meals, making donations to help with medical expenses, cleaning my house, running to the store for diapers, making a pitcher of my favorite iced tea, buying me special deodorant, etc.... My high school classmates are forming a benefit for me. For ME?!! I feel so honored and blessed that people care so much about me. It is wonderful to know that i am loved so much. Especially thankful for my husband, my mom, and mother in law. They are behind the scenes helpers. Day to day, bathing my kids, bathing me, laundry, etc... My husband just said this morning as he was trying to do a million things at once, "How do people do this every day with no help??!!" Hmmm....well i used to honey, crazy isn't it :)